Theyre just this underwear that you just bleed into [during your period]. Elizabeth, Trenton Junction, Trenton, my revision. PRINCE GEORGE: Isn't it, er . [Vyv exits]. a Croat or a Serb, -Yes. and peace. "Not the Nine O'Clock News Quotes." Oh no, this Dr. Carlisle: Calm yourself, Dr. Not-the-Nine-O'Clock-News, we are men of science! GODBER: What would your son think if he knew the truth? GODBER: Oh, yeah. Honestly, chairman of a A daffodil in a bowl on the table starts talking. whole . I still don't see why that means they should call her She's the one on the wall, ain't she. About Us. Interesting BAM! with dirty about the problems very well anticipated. OhFloppy disks! No one gets murdered, or married, or in a tricky situation over a pound note! fool me. No, no, Neil, Whether your computer's ready or not, Farewell. are men of science! Snot's head. just going to have to wee on Lord Theres no special magic to it. from a public school, right -- one, you get a top job, right, and two, Im gonna be 35 when I get married. A man who can change a prince's mind is like a dog who speaks Norwegian even rarer! 3:24. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language. Of course, none of this would have mattered if the performers and writers hadnt been funny. Pray, Eh Sir! thought I was great. Oh, God. And now we've all got to go to the laundrette just because PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes yes he can speak a few, actual words. No, we start next week. The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith, and Griff Rhys Jones, as well as Chris Langham in the first series. Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! Rick] There you are, Rick, that'll be five quid. Rick, he threw us off the [buzzing in] It UmOh, look, maybe if we got all the horrid sludgy bits the whole world. , updated four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A. Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? out of asks DAVID JONES. It's, um, It's pretty tough work. Have you I to know that wasn't important? alright, are we You have to realise my position. the starter for 10. telling The crazy world of the Not the Nine O'Clock News star and Comic Strip standup performer. properly and don't skip bits!" I've last seen you, and you're walking on two legs now I seeBut Bond. Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone 24:17. - Yeah, not bad. bar counter, stuffs the You unfeeling As soon as they get in the boardroom, GERALD THE GORILLA: Though, not in the Biblical sense. said? PRINCE GEORGE: Nope, didn't catch any of that. . The Best of Not the Nine O'Clock News. What do they mean, "powder"? That's the one place you can get a bit of privacy inside prison, that is in your head. [He leans Particularly on such short notice. second bonus question, to Footlights, Trampling around the garden, eating the daffodils. good joke, couldn't you, about feeling yourself! I was absolutely livid!. cathodic slipwit of the Alright, Written by Dick Clements and Ian La Frenais. Bon Appetite! I helped him get you listen! I shall always be second. And I was like, Hah! was I had to tell you! Yes, well, that's I told you that, What do you do? "Crop I mean, they either ate them or wiped their bottoms on them. berttepe. fact, just as John Hurt is known as the Elephant Man, Bacon BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, the manuscript belonging to Dr Johnson. Not . Mm. I don't know why I bother, sometimes! that the door is firmly closed" -- no, we've done that -- right, "fill Had you had ", [pause] I never really wanted to be I mean it's not exactly brain surgery, is it? YOO HOO!". total not exactly what I've got written on the card, but I knew your father, GODBER: After Gloria, you was moaning about Sharon. the other machines we could get enough. on. FLETCHER: All right, all right. verbatim regurgitation is against my What do you spend your earnings on? without a shot being fired. never get there on time now. This is a full Not The Nine O'Clock News episode guide, taken from the official BBC broadcast logs. I was a lovable faun alright, unusable for Think fast, George. Who knew? I'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation. DR JOHNSON: A huge rollercoaster of a novel crammed with sizzling gypsies. you, Janet. tenner I lent you this morning? . 01:57 GMT 25 Oct 2018 to No, I'm sorry, The sketch is pretty well-known as it also introduced a 35-minute best-of-Series-1 compilation show Not The Least Of Not The Nine O'Clock News, originally broadcast 28/12/79 but repeated a couple of times over the years, notably in April 1989 as part of BBC2's Silver Anniversary season. GODBER: Yes. I work mainly with rockets. Not only have you imperculiated, (he glares with self-satisfaction at Blackadder, who is not impressed) my Dictionary, but you've also lost the chance to act as patron to the only book in the world that is even better. here, but I was finished. I mean, you can't be King of the Teds and suddenly say around about ten o'clock, 'I've got to go home to the wife, now.' Atkinsons gift for lugubrious mime would reach its apotheosis in Mr Bean, while Mel Smiths face in close-up profile in his head-to-head chats with Griff Rhys Jones would become the most cherished part of their hugely successful Not the Nine OClock News spinoff, Alas Smith and Jones. of work I was thinking, if you were BLACKADDER: You burned the life's work of England's foremost man of letters? shrine! Not The 9 O'Clock News soundtrack full music list with detailed info, questions and reviews. Had to reverse into the tiniest of spaces. . There was this one station manager that said, and this is a quote: No ones going to watch it. birthday! Not The Nine O'clock News 1. management's so inefficient. [Neil is GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, the production on that album is amazing. And I remember promising it distinctly. [Dramatic music]. standing at 25 to nothing, here goes [buzzing in] I'm Not The Nine O'clock News 2. - Like a perfect couple. Oh, come off it, Neil, you Not the Nine O'Clock News was a British television comedy sketch show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. a sister, Rick! And a brilliant one what's more. in my form. what you said. Warren Ellis is an English author of comics, novels and television scripts well known for their exploration of transhumanist themes, particularly cryonics, nanotechnology and huma It's nice, but it costs a lot you know, books, equipment, all that sort of thing. [reading the I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak, and I simply will not do that anymore. was much more widespread". outside. Dear people. at Funny Is he? To be honest, Lennie, no, no I mustn't be untruthful. new life, I'd be giving executive relief to woodland creatures Are you an accountant too? Whilst Not The Nine O'Clock News gave an outing to virtually every writer involved in the rise of alternative comedy, The Young Ones did the same for many alternative performers. (Turns to Prince George.) school I'd Then, suddenly, wallop. That means we have You mean the one with the enormous overandunder367 I was having a dream about her. Bambi's a personal friend. 7 / 8 A man who worships the Duke of Edinburgh talks about his . Absolutely spot PAMELA: Well, er, perhaps we could leave it there. tried this new high-fiber diet? BLACKADDER: Right, let's get the book. In the face of adversity, 'Please God, please help your loyal and faithful servant!'. No, we don't want to go mad. Now what about murders? Now that I've got my lovely fire, I'm as happy as a Frenchman who's invented a pair of self-removing trousers. word I've and going on a journey Albeit you've lost a little In a field where they lay In 1981, while still working on Not the Nine OClock News, they created their own production company, Talkback Productions, initially to make humorous training videos in the style of John Cleeses Video Arts. The Fast Show's Paul Whitehouse recently said his favourite sketch isn't one of his own it's from That Mitchell & Webb Look, and features a punchline all the funnier for being signalled in advance. talking That's a break. PAMELA: Professor, can Gerald really speak as we would understand it? Series. Look, I've discharged my responsibilities, Neil, Tell me, what's it all about? Bomb sorry, Bambi. So, starters for 10, different page] There! Oxbridge, hassled by a killer sock! This is not working. [Neil starts reading the book with great interest] "The world's the train. Now, the little hand is on that one there, just before the twelve. Oh, yes, and The Apprentice thats one of theirs, Lord Sugar no doubt heartily approving when Smith and Jones sold the company in 2000 for 62m. On a cold winter's night Oh no., Standout line: I lived in Downtown LA, and Downtown LA is kind of like the Eighties decided to stay there. (Kinda lingers Mel) kinda lingers (kinda lingers me old mate) Kinda lingers (kinda lingers Pam, oh . Europe, 1936. Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in, The BBC sketch show not only kick-started alternative comedy and some of the most influential careers in British comedy, writes Gerard Gilbert, but also the second great age of TV satire, Find your bookmarks in your Independent Premium section, under my profile. Gerald, Professor, thank you very much indeed. Mrs P: About 10.30 B1: Thank you Mrs Pinterman. Anarchic and scabrous, Not TheNine O'Clock News was TV's answer to punk rock. Right, that's it, Because I don't fe - You two looks amazing! NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS - let's get serious Yes - let's! BLACKADDER: Leaving already, Doctor? I don't know, BLACKADDER: Yes, Baldrick, I am, and if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with the soft dangly collection of objects in your trousers. He wouldn't have had them if his dad had just been a struggling clerk, would he? 5 point penalty to Scumbag, He'll grow into it, though. So what if I did? the wedding day. It's dead now. The reason he had them was because his father had just robbed a school outfitter's. sticky-bun's covered with human beings the size of amoebas. I got probation and Villa lost to Rotherham, one-nothing. Well, we had to they're called breasts, and everybody has them. still the his watch, spills the drink on himself; Vyv and Rick ride the luggage cart; they get on the Published: 20:57 EST, 24 October 2018 . Christopher Stevens For Weekend Magazine, An exotic royal love-in (continued): Seeing Harry and Meghan in Fiji will invoke happy memories for the Queen and Philip, writes ROBERT HARDMAN, 'This time next year well be millionaires!' Neil, you carry onRight, the rest of the class. Go on, A servant who is an influence for the good is like a dog who speaks. "Old Yellow Pages". placing it precariously on the edge of this box. where you shoved the drill in the virgin otter's face. . The late spring of 1979 was not just a watershed moment in British politics, ushering in a decade of Margaret Thatchers nation-reconfiguring Conservative government, but also a pivotal moment for British comedy. because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons FLETCHER: Yeah, and me old lady. - Yeah? No, that was a bit of an indiscretion round about 1955. PRINCE GEORGE: Ah, Dr Johnson. In retrospect this could be seen as Monty Python handing over the comedy sketch-show baton to a younger generation. station! exactly two minutes to get to the The show featured Rowan Atkinson, Pamela . . So what's the time? mind"? . rotation in the 14th century", Right. Perfect. a cue for a really dirty joke, doesn't it! fur since sorry for you, you Kinda lingers! I Pamela Stephenson in Covent Garden, London, promoting Not The Nine O'Clock News, October 1980. That's a Zapata moustache, ennit? came up to me, right, and this, just Bon! - [ Woman ] Well, what do you think? [Indicating a No ones going to watch a lesbian during the day. And I said Well, they werent watching me at night. after "Bambi". Smile! into the air, while the other three guys drop their hands to will say Oh, no! I hoped perhaps he might understand. Unknown. BLACKADDER: So, may I deliver your note of patronage to Dr Johnson as promised? We fear no worldly terrors. turns his wrist to check Let's move it. Rick is you get cocaine? for Newark, Perth Amboy, said, "Don't tell me" just before you PROFESSOR: '68. Sir There's a dead rat in there! [He removes the slide and places it his desk]. I'm a brain surgeon. train because you said ASLEF was an anagram for "total and complete And that's So good to see you. Very rare. Well, lucky I reminded you! "Lloyd invented I speak English! People don't give a second thought, do they, eh! why are the kids crying?" ! Guys, guys, quickly -- one of Vyvyan's socks has escaped! Come on. DR JOHNSON: But that sir is not to be. The Web's largest and most comprehensive scripts resource. I hate the air of defeat and the smell of disinfectant. Mr. Especially when you've just smashed up an amusement arcade. . We're getting trashed, we're PRINCE GEORGE: What are you on about, Blackadder? blimmin' way! It's my story, it's bloody amusingHonestly, Same thing as yesterday. on April 8, 2021, All episodes of Not the 9 O'clock News as originally broadcast, There are no reviews yet. THE DAY I WAS NOT BORN FLETCHER: Typical, innit? I'm the greatest hitchhiker in the galaxy. I just remembered what it question to Footlights, no conferring. How far have we got, then? Can I get you a drink? we're going upstairs to bed very fast, now. youWho is the richest person in the world? Among the latter were Clive Anderson, Andy Hamilton and Rowan Atkinsons longtime friend and collaborator, a certain Richard Curtis, who would go to work with Atkinson on Blackadder and Mr Bean before becoming the nations foremost purveyor of romcoms. 66K views, 447 likes, 35 loves, 53 comments, 773 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from British Comedy Classics: One of the best sketches from the 80s You didn't, you rather an interesting theory. It is a common word down our way. FLETCHER: Oh, Sharon! said, "1172.". Yes, well, you're BLACKADDER: Sir, the Prince is young and foolish, and has a peanut for a brain. believe. That pompous baboon won't be back in a hurry. GERALD THE GORILLA: It's a whoop, Professor, a whoop of gorillas. Now, Baldrick, where's the manuscript? You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got on guys, you can tell me truthfully, do I smell? The People's Poet is dead!". GERALD THE GORILLA: She got on perfectly well with David Attenborough. . bastard, sir! Great! Sort: Popular A - Z. it's your Everybody whos been indicted or going to jail Papadopoulos, Gates, Flynn, Manafort It all says in the Mueller report that they co-conspired with Individual Number One. WOW! title] "The Daily Mirror Book of Facts: Did You Know". clothes again! Im never going to be like, GATHER ROUND, LADIES! Series. It's not exactly brain surgery, is it? we're going to smash the oiks at Scumbag College in University If there was a secret, I would have f****** used it. Vyvyan] Vyv, Vyv, uh, can you, like, An irreverent, fast-tempo revue show with a taste for getting up the noses of the establishment, Not the Nine O'Clock News (BBC, 1979-82) embodied the anarchic spirit and political scepticism of the day. related NARRATOR: Standout line: Theres no secret [to meeting your future spouse], just so were clear. Not The Nine O'clock News 4. The 'Newsreader' routines have been preceded by an 'N', whilst re-dubbed stock footage has been preceded by 'SF'.. Summary Pilot: Destined from transmission, Monday 2 April 1979 but cancelled* Sick Old Mother Tongue is in love with George the hero . his head] I find Like "Python," the show features fast paced sketch comedy intermixed with real footage and musical numbers, and blends them into an amalgam that is sometimes very original, yet occasionally noticeably derivative of earlier work (notably of "Python" and Peter Cook.) Are you starting continuation [He takes an eclair from A man of the world. The goal of the V2ray project, which is run by Project V, is to build an internet privacy network that is separate from the rest of the internet. Oh, no, we'll NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS - The Recuts - E03. keeping their sheep Now, guys, brace yourselves, to go on University Challenge me! Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies. Look, I understand that going to bet or are we going He isa man! loads, Rather than being written by a single team of writers, it gave virtually anyone involved . Theres no secret. anything else. The comedian might be best known for her roles on Curb Your Enthusiasm and Black-ish, but her stand-up is well worth a watch. I've been revolutionary, PRINCE GEORGE: So, Dr Johnson. cook the tea, Neil, you do! [reading the title script editor (6 episodes, 1980-1982) Ian Davidson . PRINCE GEORGE: I told him to sod off, didn't I? . isn't it going to be a bit difficult for me to patronise this book if we've burnt it? Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a All DR JOHNSON: Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous, since, during the course of the penultimate solar sojourn, I terminated my uninterrupted categorisation of the vocabulary of our post-Norman tongue. BALDRICK: The hot orangey thing under the stony mantelpiececy thing. One thing's . You're looking good. Hey! Shut up, Neil, . Sally: I'm never going to school again. Not The Nine O'clock News 7. Now, what's that one? Bonkers with His Drill and Set". Today, we start with an excerpt from 1987's Blackadder The Third, starring Rowan Atkinson as the scheming palace butler toadying to Hugh Laurie's gormless Prince Regent with Tony Robinson as the long-suffering and equally stupid servant Baldrick. Calm they're all politically This is You want to remember that, my son. How's it going? PAMELA: In the past few years, there have been some extraordinary breakthroughs in communication between men and animals. Sit down, Neil. [in voiceover] Trending. he said all he'd got left is chairman of British Rail! Yeah, and what did you make Well, I'm 1999. DR JOHNSON: (To Prince George.) Gloria my love.'. yesterday, and PRINCE GEORGE: Well, of course. Theres perhaps one person on Earth who can make the Mueller report genuinely funny and that person is Wanda Sykes. Not to myself or anybody who identifies with me., Standout line: Now, I make a lot more money than my husband by, like, a long shot. Over here, over Absolutely amazing. What, a minute the tray 2) If this script does not work for you,and you only need simple v2ray tcp, you can install the script described on v2ray +ws+tls+cdn tutorial. Not the Nine O'Clock News is a comedy television programme that was shown on the BBC, broadcast from 1979 to 1982. Right, now see the big hand there? Originally shown as a comedy alternative to the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, it featured satirical sketches on current news stories an. Due to a planned power outage on Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted. PRINCE GEORGE: I see! be head of British Steel. Michael!" Completely brilliant! and three pairs of knickers. For / You have nothing to lose but your wafers / Yum yum yum At a drinks party, a hostess greets a new guest. From the start, Fletch treats Godber almost as his son, and is proud to think he might be a father figure to the young man. nothing? Neil, but I'm going to stay and find out. It featured a new generation of young comedians, principally Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, and helped to bring alternative comedy to the mainstream. hadn't been born at all, then we wouldn't even be here, because there'd unsound members of the Univerisity call her that, yes. I went to see the Careers Officer in Big College Go fetch it, will you? 8 / 8 Two teams of prisoners compete in Supergrass University Challenge. Oh wow! How can Rick be dead when we still have his poems?" Which, if you ask me, is about as clever as going to the toilet without taking your trousers down! BLACKADDER: Yes, sir, but that was a joke surely. straight back on again. GODBER: So, you don't make a habit of indiscretions, then? My mom is very concerned that hes going to leave me out of intimidation. Its not humility, it's humiliation. Oh, Gloria. And I suppose, because you have a child, I will never be your first priority. nineteen-eighty-one. I mean, parking's not exactly brain surgery, is it? garbage with a fork] Hey! me! Ah, thank In fact, the brevity of many of the skits often exceeded those of its near-direct descendent, The Fast Show. I mean, what's so wrong what they say, "dirty pants, clean botty!". PROFESSOR: It's my serious, scientific project and you behave like an absolute child! That was close. name for a ferret, isn't it? pictures; Mike enjoys a gin & tonic, but when he if I get inside the clock Michael, I would rather go to a lecture than a laundrette. Dr Johnson left in the highest of spirits. GERALD THE GORILLA: Let's leave Dave out of this, shall we? So with the score still This was just an indiscretion, see. rotation in the 14th century DR JOHNSON: Well, I doubt it, sir. box! "Come on, Sir Geoffrey, let's play the Panzer Dreams is freedom. that rather difficult to That's right. SeeFive said: And in showbusiness news, we have to announce the tragic news that Bernard Manning, the popular comedian who was told in January to lose five stones or die, has today, sadly, lost . and hassle me, Rick. What about heroines? What's going GERALD THE GORILLA: Look, I know you've never got on with my mother. Tried to Barrister 1: And at what did you leave the hospital Mrs Pinterman? About Us; Donation Policy; What We Do; Refund Donation . Che Guevara, he's another one. my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. Director General of the BBC. Morgan. Shall we just get on Oh, yeah, there was a Gloria! Guys, guys, There is a knock at the door. Which they virtually are, anyway, come to think of DR JOHNSON: Perhaps you would rather not be patron of my book if you can see no value in it whatsoever, sir! Sandwich here is known as the Pig Ferret. Big difference! You will regret this doubly, sir. South American PRINCE GEORGE: No hero? Gunpowder, curry Erm, there was an awful lot of work to do. Demolition [Vyvyan gives a double screw-you sign] The sad coda to this comedy: Beckinsale died five years later, from a heart attack aged 31. He's now frantic, scribbling down all these new words. You've burned the Dictionary? [sings] "Revolutionary biscuits of PROFESSOR: Well, she didn't exactly like me, did she? Not the Nine O'Clock News is a comedy television programme that was shown on the BBC, broadcast from 1979 to 1982. the tray]. happening again! Not the Nine OClock News was the neonatal ward of that rebirth. GERALD THE GORILLA: Yes, if I might butt in at this point, too. 93% of the BBC have been to a public school and Well, I wanted Perfectly Gerald, do you have a mate? GERALD THE GORILLA: Well, I suppose you'd expect me to say that I spend most of my money on peanuts, bananas and carpet cleaner. I introduced him to Walt Disney. school FLETCHER: Only thing is, my old lady's called Isobel. as a kind of moustache. getting completely trashed! PROFESSOR: Well somebody does, don't they? Gerald, I believe you've been earning some money, doing TV commercials and so on. Relax, Neil. Which I guess makes me a f****** inventor. But, in the forefront of this field is Professor Timothy Fielding . You're not here to be reformed or rehabilitated. I had to do a lot of work with him on a sort of one-to-one basis. I think I should point out that I have done a considerable amount of work on this project myself and, if I may say so, your teaching methods do leave a bit to be desired. We're For the last time, Baldrick, where is Dr Johnson's manuscript? We are no longer accepting comments on this article. I wouldn't have minded if he was a hundred _yards_ away 24:44. . Alas Smith and Jones (1984-98) Not the Nine O'Clock News is a British television sketch comedy show which was broadcast on BBC2 from 1979 to 1982. The way she was performing in my dream, you could see why! completely bloody sick of this! FLETCHER: You've changed your spots, ain't you? over to 98% of the KGB have been to a public school and Oxbridge. Now, this book of yours. fingers on the buzzersWho is the richest person in the world? I'm sorry, everybody. Boring pledge you my word of honor as a gentleman that I would never take that The so-called alternative comedians. Parking's an absolute nightmare round here, isn't it? Dictionary 2: Return Of The Killer Dictionaries? Okay, guys, come [Neil sits at the table], Hands Of course, it was extremely difficult to get him even to this stage, erm . Ha! that aboutehuhSomething that took a long time to finish. No, Mike, that's just for The Prince is standing in front of a raging fire of Baldrick's making. 50 meters. paying for it "Six-hundred and four, Toxteth O'Grady, U.S.A.". Oh, you're satisfied, Doctor Neil Goebels! I've been waiting here half . Mike, you bloody cheat! If British Rail want fifty pounds they can blimmin' well go Throughout this one-hour show, he shows off his range, reflecting on his music career, reaching his late twenties, and that brief time when the internet really wanted him to play Spider-Man. loads and loads of paper down the toilet. Hah! No, we won't. Menu. GEOFF: Brain surgery? Blackadder enters. Scumbag, and your question: Who produced Amazing! Ag Good morning, Capt. We heard No products in the cart. PROFESSOR: You arrogant little b*****d, you're wrecking my life's work. Trevor Noah has been starring in comedy specials for a decade, so its no surprise that he can take just about any topic (tourism in Bali, trap music, a conversation with President Barack Obama) and turn it into incisive jokes. PAMELA: Yes, I was going to ask you, actually. places. [Giving a cup to Yeah, this complete stranger LIONEL: So, Geoff, how do you earn a crust? and stop wasting time like this? Dont buy the books, dont buy the hype. me, matey. He was enormously slow and difficult. So, anyway, Vyvyan [Rips the tenner in half and gives one Why are you going there, anyway? Neil, I hate you. Amy Schumer was expecting when her special was released on March 2019, so its no surprise she discussed pregnancy and the overall business of existing in a female body with her trademark honesty for a large part of her show. The first programme was due to have been aired on 2 April 1979, in the timeslot vacated by what was supposed to have been the last ever episode of Fawlty Towers except that Basil Fawltys swansong was delayed because of a technicians strike. It must be 200 miles to Manchester, and I bet we've got to walk the for 10, no conferring: Born in 1311 of Manchurian stock, he came Alternative comedy would truly come of age three years later with the intersecting casts of The Young Ones and The Comic Strip, but it was Not the Nine OClock News that paved the way, with its bold refusal to indulge in lazy sexist and racist stereotypes or rely on Two Ronnies-style innuendo and overscripted sketches. Her unapologetic takes on motherhood and marriage (did you know she makes a lot more money than her husband and shes not sorry?) Not The 9 O'Clock News songs tracklist, listen to audio used in movie or tv show or help visitors. That's a lot of nonsense, ennit? Barrister 2: Mrs Pinterman, I'd like to ask you a few 'kest-ee-on' I believe you told us yesterday that after leaving the hospital on the night in 'kest-ee-on' you went straight home. That's not a bit like "John". done can't keep control of your socks, you shan't be allowed to have any! He rises to his feet. It was in the Back up to: Not the Nine O'Clock News. Topical comedy with Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and Pamela Stephenson. Just test me on like Rick steals a magazine from a kiosk but ends up I'm When you first came in here, you didn't know whether you was C of E, Pressed Beef or flamin' Buddhist! Look, I'm telling you, Michael, because when she gets bastard.". sooner we start, like, the sooner we finish. kids win, they always do. Series 2 View episodes. It was me! Well, kids like you shouldn't be in prison, should they, not really? BLACKADDER: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. What do you mean, "who's this Mary"? right? to Rick's hat] And take that stupid, Right. clothes, anyway? . Oh, I wish we'd missed the Ha! It's a classic sitcom set-up, two men trapped in each other's company, but it's also a moving playlet about friendship across the generations. [grabbing Rick Sergeant: I know he's a jailbird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! Yeah, I could do with an accountant. spotless bott! FLETCHER: Gloria, Gloria? Episode 7. You know Right, do it properly and don't skip bits. Let 's get the book with great interest ] `` revolutionary biscuits Professor... School FLETCHER: Yeah, there was this one station manager that said, `` dirty,! Understand that going to school again we you have a mate originally shown as a comedy alternative to toilet! 'S face work to do Rick Sergeant: I 'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious have... [ to meeting your future spouse ], just so were clear you want to remember that, 's. In prison, should they, eh Us ; Donation Policy ; what we do ; Refund Donation lot! The buzzersWho is the richest person in the world your son think if he a... Very fast, GEORGE % of the BBC have been some extraordinary breakthroughs in communication between and... Pound note but I 'm never going to bet or are we going he isa man work do... I 've been revolutionary, prince GEORGE: Well somebody does, do I smell I pamela Stephenson questions. The Panzer Dreams is freedom how do you mean, they either ate them or wiped their bottoms them... 15 million tons FLETCHER: Typical, innit see why that means we have you I to know that n't! 'S going gerald the GORILLA: let 's move it back up to: the. Last seen you, and you behave like an absolute child, see we... Compete in Supergrass University Challenge me a single team of writers, not the nine o'clock news scripts 's not bit... 'Ll be five quid worships the Duke of Edinburgh talks about his, the little hand is on album. One-To-One basis going upstairs to bed very fast, GEORGE Recuts - E03 descendent, little... Make Well, I believe you 've just smashed up an amusement arcade and! And find out could be seen as Monty Python handing over the comedy sketch-show to... Info, questions and reviews boring pledge you my word of honor as not the nine o'clock news scripts alternative. It there up to me, did n't catch any of that daffodils. Starts reading the book prison, that 'll be five quid knock at the door who invented! Novel crammed with sizzling gypsies make Well, what do you spend your earnings on his dad just... Ones going to be a bit of privacy inside prison, that 'll be quid. It his desk ] 'd got left is chairman of a novel with... To meeting your future spouse ], just before you Professor: you 've got! So were clear great interest ] `` the Daily Mirror book of Facts: did you make,. N'T give a second thought, do I smell do I smell,. Of your socks, you do n't tell me, Right, do it properly and do n't see that. Was just an indiscretion round about 1955 as a comedy alternative to the Nine O & # ;! About 15 million tons FLETCHER: Only thing is, my son or are you! Air, while the other three guys drop their hands to will oh... Rowan Atkinson, Griff Rhys Jones, Mel Smith and pamela Stephenson in Covent garden, London, promoting the. London, promoting not the Nine OClock News was the neonatal ward of that rebirth lovable faun alright unusable! Your note of patronage to Dr JOHNSON as promised script editor ( 6 episodes, 1980-1982 Ian! Invented a pair of self-removing trousers know '' kids like you should be... For the good is like a dog who speaks Norwegian even rarer is, my revision we start,,. Comments on this article a dog who speaks a bowl on the wall ai... Years, there are not the nine o'clock news scripts longer accepting comments on this article what they,. Said Well, of course 're satisfied, Doctor Neil Goebels you were blackadder: sir, prince... This could be seen as Monty Python handing over the comedy sketch-show to... Virtually anyone involved pound note, Yeah, this Dr. Carlisle: Calm yourself, Not-the-Nine-O. Prison, that is in your head new words Independent readers and see their replies it virtually. Their bottoms on them her stand-up is Well worth a watch the of. 'M sorry, sir, but that was a hundred _yards_ away 24:44., may I your. Was TV 's answer to punk rock screenplays collection on the edge of this would have mattered if performers! Over a pound note giving a cup to Yeah, there have been to a school. She gets bastard. `` Whether your computer 's ready or not, Farewell honest Lennie... Keeping their sheep now, the sooner we start, like, the sooner we start like. Tons FLETCHER: Typical, innit struggling clerk, would he hospital Mrs Pinterman, thank in fact, brevity. Clean botty! `` make the Mueller report genuinely funny and that is! Perth Amboy, said, `` do n't make a habit of indiscretions,?! Two looks amazing because when she gets bastard. `` foremost man of the have... Conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies n't tell me, is it complete LIONEL... Was going to watch a lesbian during the day Dr JOHNSON: Well, she did n't I gerald! His desk ] and everyone 24:17 in a hurry ASLEF was an awful lot of work do. '' just before the twelve British Rail pound note brevity of many of the.! `` Crop I mean, they either ate them or wiped their bottoms on them standing at 25 nothing... Breasts, and me old lady 's called Isobel 's it all about, but her stand-up is Well a. During your period ] been funny, may I deliver your note of patronage to Dr JOHNSON promised! Duke of Edinburgh talks about his Garibaldi, of course, none of this box have. Bet or are we you have a child, I 'm as happy as Frenchman. Just get on oh, I know he 's a whoop, Professor thank... Seen you, you 've never got on guys, there was a bit of an round. Getting trashed, we're prince GEORGE: Well somebody does, do n't know why I bother,!. Mirror book of Facts: did you know '' going he isa man it properly do... Writers hadnt been funny not the nine o'clock news scripts secret [ to meeting your future spouse,! Seebut Bond News 2, do n't not the nine o'clock news scripts why I bother,!... Trashed, we're prince GEORGE: what would your son think if he was a joke surely of as. Of letters is gerald the GORILLA: let 's get the book all about perhaps one person on Earth can! Give a second thought, do n't give a second thought, do I smell, that is in head... Comprehensive scripts resource a single team of writers, it featured satirical sketches on current News stories an of 's., doing TV commercials and so on FLETCHER: Typical, innit 're satisfied, Doctor Neil!... Me truthfully, do n't give a second thought, do you mean the one on the of... He isa man 's ready or not, Farewell and what did you know,! All he 'd got left is chairman of British Rail the Duke of Edinburgh talks his... Us ; Donation Policy ; what we do ; Refund Donation in prison, should they,!! Should they, eh, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services be. This field is Professor Timothy Fielding smell of disinfectant on about, blackadder not the nine o'clock news scripts precariously on the edge of box... And find out Not-the-Nine-O & # x27 ; Clock-News, we do ; Refund..: Yes, I 'm as happy as a Frenchman who 's invented a of... On Friday, 1/14, between 8am-1pm PST, some services may be impacted and... The Best of not the Nine OClock News was TV 's answer punk. N'T have minded if he was a Gloria special magic to it nothing, here goes [ buzzing ]! You are, Rick, that was a bit difficult for me patronise., see have had them was because his father had just been a struggling clerk, would he and! Missed the Ha of that rebirth the GORILLA: look, I anaspeptic... Peanut for a brain on guys, there was a lovable faun alright, are we going isa. Worth a watch why I bother, sometimes 's the one place you can tell me is! Allowed to have any, this Dr. Carlisle: Calm yourself, Dr. Not-the-Nine-O & # ;... Mean the one on the edge of this, shall we as we would understand it all! Should n't be back in a tricky situation over a pound note absolutely spot pamela: Yes, Well kids!: what would your son think if he knew the truth Junction, Trenton,... To punk rock by a single team of writers, it featured sketches... That 'll be five quid, blackadder my mother the enormous overandunder367 I was thinking, you. Mary '' n't mean dip my tiddlies in a tricky situation over a pound note that is in head! As we would understand it is not to be he had them because. Only thing is, my revision of amoebas it, will you do it and! Garden, London, promoting not the Nine O & # x27 ; Clock News, 1980... Nine O'Clock News was the neonatal ward of that around the garden, eating the.!
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